For Maddie

It has been two weeks since the world lost Maddie, and so many are still trying to come to terms with this devastating loss. I my self struggle to understand what has happened how I can feel such a hurt for a little girl I never met. My mind can't even begin to comprehend the pain and sorrow that Heather and Mike are feeling. I want to wrap them in my arms and take away the pain and the hurt and make everything better. I know that I can't do that and that just hurts even more.

While I can not take away the pain there is something I can do for Maddie. Maddie lived her life with abandon even in the short time she was with us. For her I will my live life to the fullest. I will treasure those precious moments that life gives us and bask in their glory. Maddie gave unconditional love to her family, friends and that was shared with thousands of strangers around the world. For Maddie I will love my friends and family with all my heart and show love to those I don't know. I will keep Maddie's memory alive by sharing her story and all the love that surrounded her. Every year I will raise money and walk for the March of Dimes, in hopes that some day no hearts will have to break for another child lost to soon. I will think of Maddie when I wear purple or I see purple through out the day . Someday when I have children I will tell them Maddie's story so that the story of her life can be carried on by the next generation.

There is not a lot I can do right now, but I think that if I can do these things for her and try to live my life the way she did I think it might just be a start. What can you do for Maddie? How can you live your life for her?

Questions and few answers

It's been four days since the world lost Maddie and I find my self sitting here with a thousand question swirling through my mind. Why did this happen to one of the nicest families in the blogosphere? How could a little be girl be ripped from the world much to soon? Why? Why? How can I feel such pain and emotion for a little girl I never met except through an amazing blog? While

I can't find answer for most of these question still I have discovered something amidst all this tragedy. I have stumbled upon an amazing community of strangers and friends. They have surrounded this family with love, friendship and support. I have discovered that I am not the only one that feels this broken feeling in heart and not being able to quite understand that pain they feel. I have watched the donations pour into March of Dimes in honor of Maddie . Over 17,000 dollars raised in a day! People did everything could they could to wrap this family in love. Money for Maddie's service have poured in. Blogs,avatars and twitter pages have gone PURPLE for Maddie. Strangers have turned into quick friends and a little online support system. Every day that I log onto twitter and see all the #maddie tweets my heart soars because I know this little one will not be forgotten she will live on in the hearts of so many. Wow blogosphere you have truly knocked my socks off. I just wish I had dived into this community sooner

Heart Broken

My heart is heavy today for a little girl and a family that I have never met . Madeline Alice Sphor November 11th, 2007 - April 7th 2009. All my Love and Thoughts to the Sphor family in their time of need.....

Today was a great day all in all. I had to wake up early to get to an early doctors appointment to get some shots updated. It thankfully didn't take very long it would have been an even shorter visit had I not forgotten something and had to go back and get it. Today when I was picking N and S up from school we saw a car similar to their mom's and lil miss s said "hi momma hi momma" and waving so excitedly it was too cute! It was such a relaxing today with the girls, S had a docs appt so I just had the older girls. We went to a playground close to their house had snacks and played. On the way back to the girls house G kept telling how she wanted to show me something and it was so fun that I just had to see it but she would have to ask her mom. I would ask her what she wanted to show me but she kept telling she would have to wait to ask her mom..... turns out she wanted to show me how to use her netipot. yeah I didn't stay to see that!

magda = epic fail

I failed.......I am lousy work out person. I always start out strong and then crap out within a week a so. I can't even blog regularly ..... I will blog at least three times a week even if no one reads this!

Day 3

Day 3 March 4th

Today was a lot easier then the first day, still had to push my self through it but less pushing. Instead of feeling nearly dead with in the first 5 minutes I felt like dying towards the end. I'm finding that I should have not been so ambitious and gone with 3lbs weights instead of the 5lbs weights. I'm actually looking forward to working out tomorrow and getting my shred on!

The Shred!

I've hopped on the shred bandwagon and bought the DVD. Weight loss is not really the goal but some fat burning toning would be wonderful. So I took my little happy self to target and bought the DVD, the hand weights and got to work.

Day 1 March 2nd

DAYUM! I forgot truly out of shape I was, about 15 minutes into the work out I was dying. I was breathing heavily, dripping in sweat, standing on legs that felt more jello like as each minute ticked by. I so badly wanted to turn off the DVD put on some mindless TV and eat the leftover Tiff's Treats that were calling my name from the kitchen. Every time I thought about turning off the DVD Jillian would seem to know what I wanted to do and I swear she'd give me a look saying "don't even think about it and I saw cookie number 6 last night". So I pushed through and finished the 30 minutes of hell and collapsed into a heap on the ground. It felt good though, it's been so long since I've pushed my body to that point and it was great to finish it and still be alive.

Day 2 March 3rd

Holy sore muscles batman! I woke up and I could feel it everywhere! My thighs, my arms and abs all ached and moaned. It felt good though, a pain that you've worked for and will hopefully take you somewhere better. Ok sooooo I had every intention of waking up early and Shreding in the morning since I had plans for the evening. The best laid plans......I hit the snooze button one to many time and woke up with just enough time to get some food in my stomach and get the girls from school. So failing and I'm only at day two *sigh*. I will do this I will make it through 30 days and I will lose some of this flab that has started to settle on my belly. Now does chasing three girls aroud a park, helping them fly kites, running to keep them out of the streets, strapping a struggling two year old and 20 minutes of wii fit make up for my not working out today?! yeah, I didn't think so either......